my dick has a lot in common with the sun
nobody likes looking directly at it?
It gives people cancer?
woAh woah woah
It rises at the crack of dawn?
it disappears at night?
direct exposure often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?
it needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?
nobody will ever touch it?
once i accidentally called 999 and my brother was shouting “im gonna kill you” at his video game in the background and to cut a long story short 20 minutes later 2 police officers showed up at my house to check out a potential murder and this is why i hate my life
I think it’s 911…
i think i live in england…
The american sex education system.
Why are you laughing at me
Story goes that this entity is the most evil known out there and it seems to seek people of all ages that do not reblog this. The name non-tumblr users have already been killed and you’re next.
That is, if you reblog this, he’ll let you live. Now, do it. My friend Katy didn’t know how to reblog and within the hour, she died. I warned her but she didn’t
ok tumblr srsly i fucking hate you but that fucking picture ok i’ll reblog this
this is just so i can sleep alright tonight…
this looks like it’s from something but i can’t remember
fuck posts like this they are triggering and shitty
what kind of piece of shit skunk ape bat human hybrid with no eyes fucking seeks out people that don’t reblog a tumblr post what a shitty horror story this isn’t even that creative it’s just “hey look lts make its eyes black and give it an abnormally formed back and a bat nose okay its basically the kinkg the one and only skunk ape but it shaved”
if i haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you don’t worry it will happen
Gavin could say how much he hates Rooster Teeth, and they’d still probably put it on a shirt.
That opens up with chanting in a different language
With the royal family
And the adorable children
And the tragic death(s)
And then our hero runs away
And sings a really catchy song about being free
Without realizing that the kingdom is in ruins
And is being ruled by a villain who wants to be king
A villain who is really good at causing guilt trips
And so our hero goes back
And they all live happily ever after
It’s such a great movie
NOOOO NO NO NONO FUCK FUCK FUCKIG CBS IS TELLING WOMEN NOT TO REPORT SEXUAL HARASSMENT BECAUSE IT WILL “DAMAGE THEIR CAREERS” and “HARASSMENT IS AN UNFORTUNATE PART OF CLIMBING THE LADDER” I AM SO ANGRY THEY ARE LITERALLY TURNING SEXUAL HARASSMENT INTO A NORM THIS IS NOT OKAY
This is an actual article and I’m still having a hard time believing it’s real.
IF YOU ARE SEXUALLY HARRASSED YOU REPORT THAT SHIT
WHEN YOU PULL OUT MINTS IN PUBLIC by TonyBakercomedy
I usually don’t like Vines but when they’re good they’re really good